


Vellere

by 95coups



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - College/University, Jeonghan, M/M, Professors, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2018-08-24 09:24:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8366983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/95coups/pseuds/95coups
Summary: Hanyang University's Yoon Jeonghan is offered a temporary position as a junior professor, but little does he know who he's going to be covering for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my very first fic to be posted here, and it's been taken from my account on Asianfanfics (@95coups). I had this story jotted down in my drafts for quite a while. Please note that the age gap is eight years and is between two consenting adults (24 and 32). If this makes you uncomfortable, please click out of the story.
> 
> You can find me on Twitter @cheolholic and tumblr @officialseungcheol.

 

 

 

"Ah yes, Jeonghan, I've been meaning to talk to you."

 

 

"Yes, Doctor?" Yoon Jeonghan gulped nervously, gripping the notebook against his chest.

"I have an opening for assistant professor this semester for a lower-division undergraduate class. Do you want the position?"

 

○○○

 

 

First day of fall semester would usually mean stress to find classes and make sure you were registered properly, but for Yoon Jeonghan, this was going to be the first semester for him as a professor.

Well, _assistant_ professor, but close enough.

Jeonghan had spent quite a chunk of his paycheck at his old part-time job to buy clothes fitting for his new position. The 24 year-old was dressed in a pale grey button down, tucked into black fitted slacks and a navy cardigan to fight the chill of Seoul's autumn winds. He had finally cut his long hair, much to his chagrin, into a nice sleek bob. All-in-all, Jeonghan was pleased with himself about how professional he looked. From the parking lot to the building, he mulled over how the students would be. How would he introduce himself? Would they take the 24 year-old seriously even though he just graduated two years ago?

He shuffled up the stairs and began to search for the classrooms on the second floor. His room number was 205. He found the room with a couple of early students sitting on the floor outside the door. With a small "good morning", he unlocked the door and slowly opened it, mentally preparing himself. There was still 15 to 20 minutes before class began, but he always had a habit of being early.

Jeonghan watched as a few students carefully walked around the seats before placing their belongings on the tables of their choice. He, on the other hand, booted up his laptop and flipped his notebook to his notes for the first day. There wasn't much to cover, but he decided to be prepared just in case they had enough time for the first chapter of material. He didn't count on it, however. This was an undergraduate, lower-division class, which meant that he would be teaching mostly incoming freshman and perhaps a few seniors who had those small general courses to take. In all honesty, Jeonghan wasn't interested in teaching, but the benefits that came with being an assistant professor was great. Firstly, he'd be getting paid to teach the most basic material in his field with little to no effort at all. Secondly, this gave him the opportunity to further his resume and to get away from the research lab for a bit. He had spend the year after his graduation in the underground psychology labs of the university, diligently reading through hundreds of interviews and past researches to compile for overseeing researchers. Jeonghan had officially sworn off statistics and graphs in favor of teaching.

The department head, a soft-spoken and kind mentor to Jeonghan, had offered the position to him since the actual professor for the class had been too busy to teach the class. This concept baffled him.

Why in the world would you agree to be a professor and not show up for a single lecture?

At first, Dr. Hong had offered to let Jeonghan talk the class expectations over with the head professor, but Jeonghan had insisted that he knew what he was doing. After all, it was just lectures and assignments and two big exams.

 

 

"My name is Yoon Jeonghan. You can just call me Mr. Yoon since I haven't received my master's yet. I graduated two years ago and I sat in this exact class when I started college too. I'm 24 years old and my specialty is in abnormal psych. Anyways, enough about me. Please take out the syllabus which was emailed to you."

The class went relatively smooth, much to Jeonghan's surprise. Everyone in the class was fresh-faced, the studious "freshman" looks painted across their faces, taking notes on even the smallest things Jeonghan said that was outside of the syllabus. He went around and answered questions, which took up much of the time that was left after the syllabus briefing. Then came one question.

"Who's the actual professor for this class? Will we be able to meet him or talk to him?" a small, studious looking boy asked in the front row.

Jeonghan cleared his throat as subtly as he could. "Well...I haven't personally met him due to his schedule. But from what I've heard, he's quite famous and travels frequently for research. I was told that you may be able to meet him at his office hours if he is on campus."

The student nodded and looked back at his papers. Looking at the clock, Jeonghan dismissed the class and sat in the chair behind him, stretching his arms and legs to ease a small cramp he started feeling in his ankle. He shuffled his notes together and started to pack up, closing his laptop and neatly placing his belongings in his messenger bag. All the students cleared out, making the room seem far bigger than it really was. Overall, he was pleased with himself and the way the first day went. People actually spoke up in class and he didn't have to catch people on their phones or scrolling through gossip on their laptops.

 

 

 

"So I presume your first day went well?" Dr. Hong smiled when Jeonghan came into the department's break room. He was sitting with a file in front of him, still unopened.

Jeonghan bowed politely and took a seat across from the department head. He simply nodded and looked at his mug of tea, trying to find topics to ease the awkwardness. But before he could speak, Dr. Hong spoke first.

"Jeonghan, I know you said you didn't need to meet the professor for your 'Intro To Psychology' class, but it just so happens that Dr. Choi is back from the United States and will be in Korea for a longer stretch this time."

Oh... "Does that mean I won't be teaching the class as frequently?" a tone of dejection that Jeonghan tried to hide, slipped through.

Dr. Hong looked up with a smile, nodding his head 'no'. "Actually, he emailed me earlier today asking about the class. I mentioned you and your credentials, and it seems that he wants to meet you in person. He asked for me to give you his number so you can call him and figure that out."

Jeonghan was handed a half-sheet of paper with Dr. Choi's email and phone number neatly printed.

"Anyways, I think you should do that quickly. The man has great discipline. If there's one thing he hates, it's waiting." Dr. Hong chuckled and took a sip of his coffee as he looked at his phone haphazardly.

 

Jeonghan excused himself and stepped outside into the main office of the Psychology Department, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. He dialed the number carefully and kept the phone to his ear, hearing it ring two or three times. On the fourth ring, he heard a husky "hello" echo through his phone.

"Ah yes... is this Dr. Choi? From the Psychology Department?"

"Yes that's correct. May I know who's calling?"

Jeonghan took a deep breath. "My name is Yoon Jeonghan from the Psychology Master's program. I am the assistant professor for your 'Intro the Psychology' class. It's an honor to be working under you."

The line went silent for a second, and then the man on the other line spoke. "Yes, likewise. I was told that this is your first time teaching? How was the first day?" The man’s voice was husky, and it only made Jeonghan more curious about the man.

"It went very well, sir. The students seem a bit nervous, but they're a good bunch."

The two chatted for a bit, discussing little things like powerpoint slides and online class information.

"Have you used the online system for our courses?" Dr. Choi asked finally.

"I have as a student, but I still don't have the password or login for the professor's account."

"Then let's do this..." the man paused momentarily, "I'm in the lab right now, but I will be done in about an hour. I can come over to the department office right after to give you a breakdown of the system and how I prefer the class to be structured. Will you be free?"

 

 

 

 

 

Jeonghan took a seat in the main office of the psychology department, watching the students come and go, the clock ticking away slowly. He had his laptop out to answer emails, but somehow he was uninterested in his duties. The meetup had been extremely impromptu and the first thing the 24 year-old had done was run to the bathroom to fix his appearance a bit. It took around ten minutes even though he still had forty minutes left. Dr. Hong had asked Jeonghan to answer any calls that came to his work phone while he was gone to teach his own class.

At the strike of the hour, Jeonghan looked up. Nobody was here yet so he got on his cellphone to play games, keeping his mind off the meetup. Why was he so nervous? If Dr. Choi was boss, then Jeonghan was the lowly employee right? In any case, Jeonghan decided not to overthink it. He had never seen this man before not heard of him, which was surprising considering he had already been a student on campus for five years previously. The voice over the phone sounded aged, but not too old. Maybe the doctor was in his mid-thirties? Was he married? Dr. Hong mentioned that he travels frequently. That's difficult to do if you're married, Jeonghan mused.

Just as his thoughts on the man ceased, he heard the door click open. A man walked through the door looking a bit frazzled. His outfit was business casual, with a baby blue button down tucked into black slacks that rolled up slacks. The sleeves of his top had been rolled up to his forearms to make the outfit even more laid back. He certainly didn't look like a student.

"May I help you?" Jeonghan enquired curiously.

"Uh yes. Actually, I'm looking for a master's student named Yoon Jeonghan. Do you know where I can find him?"

The said man's eyes widened impossibly at the mention of his name. There was no way on Earth that this man was Dr. Choi. "U-um that would be me, actually. You wouldn't happen to be Dr. Choi, would you?"

The man, Dr. Choi, chuckled halfheartedly and stuck his hand out, shaking Jeonghan's hand. "Well, that's me. I'm sorry for keeping you late here. I haven't been in Seoul in a long time and almost forgot my way here. Plus the traffic..." he trailed off. "In any case, it's very nice to meet you. Let's talk in Jisoo's office, shall we?" he smiled again, this time his eyes becoming crescents that seemed to only accentuate his youthful features.

Jeonghan had barely looked at the man's face this whole time. "Of course..." he said lowly. It was foreign for him to hear Dr. Hong being addressed by his first name only, which meant that this man was very close with him. Of course, this only added to the stress Jeonghan felt as he took a seat across the desk from his head professor.

Dr. Choi leaned forward in the large desk chair, arranging papers he had taken out of his bag. "So Jeonghan, I guess I'll give you some time to ask me questions about what's going on. You can ask me about the class, curriculum, my work if you're really curious, but anything is okay."

"Well..." Jeonghan cleared his throat, "Is it okay if I asked you what your research is about? Or what you're working on right now?"

Dr. Choi seemed seemed to light up. "I'd love talking about my research. I've been doing interviews with people across the world and asking them if they feel content in their relationships, whether romantic or platonic, and determining what exactly we all have that makes us prone to messing up in connection. Say, for example, you have a girlfriend. Are you someone to show affection easily or does it take a lot of fighting with yourself to show it?"

Jeonghan simply stared back, unaware that the man was asking him seriously. "Oh...oh you want an answer from me!" he flushed. "Um...I guess I'm a bit more reserved."

Dr. Choi smiled and nodded. "Well that's what I'm trying to figure out. Why do we, as humans, find it difficult to connect with others? What quality do happy people have that unhappy people don't...that sort of thing."

Jeonghan nodded, trying to make sense of what the entire talk was about. In any case, the man was doing important work and Jeonghan could only respect it.

"Any other questions?"

_How old are you?_ Jeonghan was curious. The man had just a couple grey hairs that Jeonghan could only see if the man turned his head and let his hair sweep to the side. But looking at his face, the younger only imagined the man to be in his late twenties with some unfortunate stress-related grey hairs.

"I'm 32."

Jeonghan's head snapped up from his own thoughts. He clasped his mouth when he realized he had said that out loud. "I'm sorry, that was terribly rude of me. I just imagined..."

"An old guy right?" the elder laughed. "Well we have an age gap of what...eight years?"

After some more chit-chat, the two men got down to business. Jeonghan pulled out his laptop from his bag and opened up the website that he and Dr. Choi would be using. He handed the laptop over to the elder and sat back in his chair, looking around while Dr. Choi concentrated on the website. He tried to make it as subtle as possible, but Jeonghan couldn't stop taking a better look at the man in front of him. His black locks were kept unstyled, hanging in his face but only making him look younger. The elder's frame was something to marvel at. If Jeonghan didn't know any better, he would have assumed that the man was a fitness trainer. The baby blue button-up clung to the man's muscles and stretched over the expanse over his shoulders every time he moved. Jeonghan gulped, trying to will the creeping blush on his face with his drink.

"Okay so I've set the page up for you. You need to make an account and select the "teacher's" route so that I can give you the code. Do you want to make it right now?"

Jeonghan's head snapped back to meet the eyes of the elder. He couldn't tell if his face was pink at all, but he tried to shake off the daze he was in by nodding and looking at the screen again. "I-I think I got this. I'll play around with it later and email the class. Should I CC you?"

"Yes please. I know I won't be doing most of the lectures but I want the kids to know that they can come to me if they need additional help. Leave my office hours in there too."

The man had a very nice smile, Jeonghan thought to himself. He had always thought people working in the psychology field would be a bit high-strung from the stream of people they saw, but Dr. Hong and Dr. Choi clearly seemed to love their field and Jeonghan hoped that he would be like that one day as well. His field of interest was abnormal psychology, meaning that he'd soon be working with people exhibiting bizarre speech and behavior patterns. His parents had been worried when they heard their eldest son would be going into a field that may put him in danger, but he had convinced them that everything would be fine. He knew he didn't want to go into research but to help people as his career. The soft-spoken boy had always had an innate interest in human behavior. Why did people act the way they did? Could they be helped?

The professor took a quick look at his watch. "Oh shoot, I'm running late! In any case, it was a pleasure to meet you, Jeonghan. I have to return back to the lab before my assistants lose anything or mess up on data. If you need anything, please text me or shoot me an email."

"Oh no the pleasure was all mine. Thank you for meeting with me today. I'm sure I'll be able to run the class a little better now." Jeonghan bowed as did the other man and watched him leave. Only when the man walked out the door did Jeonghan relax in his chair and just stare at his screen.

 

The bus ride home was uneventful. Rather than listening to music and wallowing in the beats, Jeonghan was still thinking of Dr. Choi. What was it about the man that Jeonghan found so interesting? Was it the fact that the man hardly looked five years older than him? Or the fact that he was so accomplished at such a young age? Most researchers in their thirties would be lucky to even be a supervisor for a research lab, forget heading important researches and getting to travel. In short, Dr. Choi was living the life that Jeonghan hoped to be living in eight years.

When he got back to his apartment, he slipped onto his couch, lazily kicking his shoes off and letting them fly in opposite directions. He pulled his hair out of the neat ponytail he had on all day and let his head rest onto the backrest.

After fifteen minutes, Jeonghan got up to fix himself dinner since he had gone through the day without lunch (once again). He was halfway through stir-frying bell peppers when his text message notification went off. As a professional homebody, he wasn’t used to being texted at all, so the surprise caused him to leave the stove momentarily. Rummaging through his messenger bag, he found his phone and flipped the case open to see his phone screen lit up.

**[Message From: Dr. Choi]**

  I wanted to make sure you had my number just in case. Let me know when you get active on the class website!

 

Jeonghan’s breath caught in his throat. He quickly swiped to start a response, but didn’t know what to say. This was unexpected to say the least. He had assumed Dr. Choi to be too busy a man to be texting some lowly master’s kid. In any case, Jeonghan promptly texted back.

 

**[To: Dr. Choi]**

   Thank you for today! I think I’ll do a lot better now with the class. I’ll send the email out in an hour, if that’s okay.

**[Message From: Dr. Choi]**

   Will do. Take care.

  
  
  
  
  
  
 

It took only one email to spark the interest of the students as to the mysterious nature of their actual professor. Jeonghan had spent a few minutes of the beginning of class to get his powerpoint to work and  had let the class socialize for a bit until he got it working. In that time, he heard at least four conversations going on about the email sent out last night and Dr. Choi.

“I heard Dr. Choi is a world-famous researcher. I was looking him up and apparently people said they never even got to see him.”

“Well I heard from my sister who graduated that he’s really hot. Can you imagine being hot and having a successful career? Some people really do live the dream…”

A group of girls in the front corner was also talking giddily about the researcher.

“Someone said he was married but didn’t see a ring on his finger. That’s so shady!” the girl giggled.

Another girl patted her friend on the back. “No ring means he’s up for grabs, right?” she snickered.

 

Jeonghan cleared his throat to get the attention of the chatty freshman. “Listen, I know that you’ve never met the professor, but let’s refrain from making assumptions, yes? He might be the one to write your recommendation letters for grad school.” a sardonic smile making it way on his lips.

As if a bunch of 19 year-old girls can really sway a 32 year-old researcher. _What kind of fantasy…_

The class progressed on as usual, Jeonghan going through his slides carefully and attempting to explain basic concepts as meticulously as he could. He had to keep reminding himself that these kids were new to the subject, so he had taken extra precaution and given definitions to every little term that had any relation to the subject. In the middle of an explanation about causation and correlation, he saw a figure walk past the back door.

Jeonghan faltered slightly, his tone getting quieter as he tried to make out who it was. When there was no one there, he continued droning on while the freshmen took notes. And then came the figure again. They had propped the door open and stepped into the door frame. Jeonghan almost let out a gasp.

Dr. Choi was leaning against the frame of the door, his arms crossed against his chest and a small smile on his face. The students in the back had heard the door and had turned around to gawk at the man. The teacher was visibly confused but Dr. Choi nodded his head to prompt him to continue with the lecture.

But Jeonghan figured it would be rude to just let the man stand there. “Class, this is Dr. Choi, your head professor. We’re fortunate to be able to have him with us for a bit during this semester so please make sure to make use of office hours.”

The said man simply bowed. “Thank you, Jeonghan. I’m sure you’ll do a fine job with the class. If you do have questions, I’ll be more than happy to meet with you. Anyways, carry on with class!”

 

The class erupted into little conversations and chatter. Most of them comprised of Dr. Choi and his physique, his looks, and questions about him. Jeonghan was quick to silence them.

“Now I know you all are curious, but we are still in lecture!” he banged his hand on his table slightly. “This material is not going to be online.”

That was enough to pull their attention back.

  
 

Jeonghan once again found himself in the Psychology department’s lounge, brewing himself a fresh Americano. He was a little winded from the lecture and the onslaught of questions the students had for the material. He was surprised at how he was able to pull them back into the lecture after Dr. Choi’s little entrance. Sighing to himself, he grabbed his tumbler and took a seat at the plastic table. Nobody was in the lounge because professors knew morning classes would mean a total of five students coming to class.

It was nice to reminisce about his undergraduate days. Hanyang had hardly been a breeze for him especially because he was part of the hardest major on campus. He had hardly had a social life in order to maintain his stellar GPA. It meant no fraternities to rush for, no interest clubs to join, and meals eaten alone in the vast cafeteria space.

It didn’t feel too bad now, considering Jeonghan’s acceptance into the Master’s program at the same campus. Hanyang had offered him a hefty scholarship in exchange for his work as a TA. While the 24 year-old mused, the door clicked open and two people walked in.

“Jisoo, I need more kids in the lab. Chan is too young and doesn’t know much beyond intermediate statistics. Mingyu has spent three nights camping out in the lab to make up for the imaging error he made. He’s working too hard, the poor kid.”

Jeonghan craned his head a little to see Dr. Choi and Dr. Hong walking in.  Putting his phone down, he sprang up to bow and the two professors bowed slightly back to him. Dr. Hong smiled and halted his conversation to sit across from Jeonghan.

“How was your class, Jeonghan?” he rested his chin in his hands and made eye-contact with the other.

Jeonghan smiled back. Dr. Hong’s smile had a gentle aura, immediately bringing a sense of calm to those around him. It seemed perfect for his job, and he was sure the clients the man saw would feel healed as well. “It went well, Dr. Hong”. Not forgetting to mention the help of Dr. Choi, he quickly added in that it was thanks to the professor’s help.

Said man sat down with two cups of coffee for himself and Dr. Hong. He rested his arms on the table and leaned in, smiling. “I’m glad it was helpful! Honestly, I don’t think I would have done a very good job of helping students. I’m more suited for graduate students probably.”

Jeonghan just shook his head and denied it. After a little more chatting, Dr. Hong changed the subject.

“Seungcheol, I don’t know if I can find more students to help you. They’re all working for Jihoon right now and he’s clearly making good use of them all. I would send Wonwoo, but he’s done with his internship hours for his major and plus, he’s graduating at the end of the semester.”

The long-haired boy watched his mentor grumble about his lack of assistance and ran his hand through his hair. Jeonghan was was still running the man’s name through his head. Seungcheol….that’s a really nice name. For some reason, Jeonghan felt the name just fit. He hadn’t known the professor’s name this whole time, and the name just lingered in his thoughts for the rest of the conversation.

  
 

When Jeonghan decided to go home, he made sure to let the door shut behind him, the two men still sitting and discussing work-related matters. The bus home was quiet, with Jeonghan plugging his ears with soft music to drown out his built up thoughts and tensions of the day. The walk from the bus stop to his tiny studio was short, the dimly lit street lights marking the uphill walk. The old landlord was standing around at the bottom of the stairs to his place, sweeping the dust around that area and a local neighborhood wandering cat carefully watching her. Ms. Seo was the strict but understanding landlord that had reluctantly given Jeonghan the small room at the top of the stairs. The boy had been desperate to find a place and had almost begged the woman for the space. It had no stove and a tiny bathroom. However, having his own space made him feel independent, despite being deprived of the wonderful home-cooked meals his mother would provide him three times a day. When Jeonghan let his door click shut behind him, he hung his bag on the little hook on the coat stand.

It was only three minutes in from Jeonghan sitting on his couch when his phone went off. In a hurry, he fished his phone out of his pocket and swiped.

“Yo Seokmin, it’s been three weeks dude! Where have you been?”

He heard a little sniffle. “Jeonghan...”

Startled, the long-haired boy enquired. “Are you okay?! You sound like a mess.”

“She broke up with me.”

“Yuna?!” Jeonghan said, his voice raised significantly. Choi Yuna had been his best friend’s girlfriend for the last six years. He couldn’t remember a time when the younger hadn’t had the girl by his side. They had been infamous for actually lasting through four years of undergraduate unlike their peers. It was shocking to hear that Yuna had been the one to initiate the breakup, simply because she had seemed to be equally in love with Seokmin.

He felt terrible for his friend. “Jeonghan, what did I do wrong?! I came home from school and she told me she wanted to break up. I didn’t even know what was going on. One minute, I was happy in love with the woman of my life, and the next I was alone in my apartment.” he let out another sob, his wailing echoing through the phone and choked sobs between cries of her name.

“S-Seokmin, I don’t want you alone right now. Just come over. I’ll call a cab for you.”

There were no words from the heartbroken man but small sniffles and labored breathing. He just muttered a small ‘okay’ and let Jeonghan hang up. Jeonghan pulled his little table-top stove and picked out a small pot, filling it with water and setting it on the stove. A little smile made its way on his face. This had been the tradition of their friendship, eating ramyun fresh out of a pot and sharing small-talk or watching a movie together. It would usually result in either one of them falling asleep first and letting their unfinished beer cans sit sadly on their table.

Lee Seokmin had been the first person to talk to Jeonghan in their freshmen dorms. He wasn’t even from the same floor, but his excitement for college had prompted him to introduce himself to everyone in the three floors. It was his friendly nature that threw Jeonghan off at first. It had been uncomfortable to meet someone new this way, and getting a hug from them when he was a self-proclaimed anti-hugger. But Seokmin had quickly become a familiar face, popping up at the dining hall or walking with him to classes. It was comfortable, and Jeonghan now considered the sunny boy his favorite person.

So to see the ever-happy man with tears in his eyes and a frown broke Jeonghan’s heart. Seokmin quietly slipped his shoes off at the door and greeted him, trying to muster a smile but a flash of pain making its way across his face. He looked absolutely wrecked, with streaks of tears on his tanned cheeks and still in his clothes from school. Jeonghan quietly stirred the ramyun with long chopsticks, and turned the heat down to low.

“Seokmin, you can cry okay? Tell me what happened.” he patted the heartsore friend.

The man just laid his head on the table and whispered. “I was going to marry her. We had planned stuff out, how many kids we wanted...what kind of wedding we would have....” he paused, “but I guess she had other plans. Not that I would know.” he chuckled bitterly.

Jeonghan passed a bowl of steaming hot ramyun to the man, who was still droning on about wanting to marry her. He hadn’t pegged Yuna to be someone who would simply leave her long-term boyfriend out of the blue, but considering the fact that she hadn’t explained why she was leaving, his impression of her changed. The two ate, the only sounds in the room being slurping and the popping of beer cans to take a swig of.

“I’m going to ask her why she’s leaving.” Suddenly, Seokmin looked determined.

Jeonghan’s eyes became wide. “Are you stupid?! She left you, Seokmin. You think she’s really going to tell you the whole story?” he was almost shouting, but quieted down when he saw the downcast eyes looked at him.

“Yeah”, Seokmin said, “I’m stupid Jeonghan. I love her so much…I don’t know what’s going to keep me going now. All I have now is you, my parents, and classes. But nobody to come home to, no one to share my love with.” a stray tear escaped from his eye, and he brushed it away quickly. “I just want closure. I want to know what I did that was so terrible for her to leave me.”

He sighed. His friend had always been idealistic about love, believing that everyone had some good in them and treating them all like family. Jeonghan had barely felt the taste of love in his life, aside from his parents and younger sister. It wasn’t that he was against the idea of love or falling in love, but the idea of commitment scared him deeply. Open options were what made him comfortable. One or two people had the courage to ask him out back in the undergraduate years but none of them were what he wanted. He didn’t know exactly what he wanted, but he knew those people weren’t right.

Either way, he was too busy to maintain a relationship. It sounded like work, but Seokmin made it sound like roses and sparkles all the time. Reality had caught up with him quickly and Jeonghan would have to help him cope. He let Seokmin quietly cry on his shoulder until he had fallen asleep, the tears crying and leaving sad streaks. He got up, gently placing the man’s head on a couch pillow and finding a blanket to drape over his body. When all was done, Jeonghan decided to forgo brushing (as gross as it was) and slept on the couch.

  
  
 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait & thank you to those who commented and gave me the kudos! I kept you all in mind during this chapter. I know that this story is developing a little slowly, but trust me when I say that it's going to be good. Anyways, please comment or give this story a kudos if you're enjoying it so far or excited for the next chapter!

For the week following the disastrous break-up, Seokmin hung around Jeonghan like a puppy from the second Jeonghan got out of class to the restroom and even to the door of the Psychology department’s lounge. It didn’t bother the man too much, especially because his friend seemed to be smiling a bit more. There were  times when the male had an air of woe but Jeonghan knew he wouldn’t be getting over Yuna so fast. It was sad to see, but Jeonghan hoped  this wouldn’t last too long.

 

They sat in the cafeteria one afternoon with their laptops in front of them. Seokmin had a case study he completely forgot about, and was furiously typing away. Jeonghan wasn’t busy, but he had some news tabs opened to read up. It was good to keep up with the news of his career and so they two ate in silence. It was about half an hour into their little lunch break when he spotted Dr. Hong in line at the small pizza joint. He looked so young that he could have been easily mistaken for a senior master’s student, and it was only emphasized by his friendly smiles towards the countless girls who would pass by him and excitedly whisper to their friends. Jeonghan wasn’t sure if the head of the department understood the magnitude of his popularity. Even when he was an undergraduate student, he had known of Dr. Hong. The man was only a professor for graduate students and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to having a class with him.

 

However, he was promoted to head soon after Jeonghan was accepted into the master’s program and the little pang of disappointment lingered for the first semester of classes. It wasn’t a full-blown crush or anything like that, but he couldn’t help but look forward to the times he would have to visit the office for career consultations or matters of that kind. The elder always greeted him with the same gentle smile and a ‘How was your day?’ He hadn’t told anyone, not even Seokmin. The idea of having a little crush on his boss was inappropriate.

 

“Hey! Can I sit with you guys?” asked the said man, who was standing with his little pizza box and a lemonade. Seokmin looked up with his eyes widened and Jeonghan nodded. Seokmin was still in awe to see the man sitting next to him and shifted his laptop subtly closer to him so he wouldn’t see the unfinished assignment he was working on.

 

“I-it’s good to see you, Dr. Hong.” the long-haired male stuttered.

 

The man was opening his box and nodded happily. “Likewise. Sorry to barge in on the two of you. I accidentally locked myself out of the lounge and felt a bit dumb to just sit outside the door so I came here instead. I haven’t been here in forever.”

 

Jeonghan giggled. Not only did Dr. Hong look young, but he acted young as well. It was as if he was another student rather than the head of the biggest major on campus. He definitely didn’t look like the other old farts that ran the business departments or the biology departments. “Well you’re welcome to sit with us. We were just doing homework and stuff.”

 

Seokmin kicked Jeonghan’s shin under the table and looked at him with desperation. Dr. Hong looked happy as usual and took a bite out of his pizza, and the three of them continued on with their lunch. Jeonghan had to ask, however.

 

“So...if you locked yourself, who’ll unlock the door?”

 

“Oh, I gave my spare key to Seungcheol. Too bad he’s busy right now and can’t come. He texted me and said he’ll be coming in around 3 hours to unlock the room for me. I should have given the spare to someone who’d be on campus, right?” he chuckled.

 

This only made Jeonghan more curious. It was clear that the professor was a close friend of his. They addressed each other casually and Dr. Hong even gave his spare keys to him. “I see.” he said, taking a bite of his sandwich. “How busy is Dr. Choi? I know he travels a lot, but I hadn’t heard of him when I was an undergrad here.”

 

“Oh him? He’s been traveling nonstop since the last semester of his master’s program. We were in the same program and I can safely say that I see him twice a year: Chuseok and Christmas. It’s not bad though, since he’s very successful.”

 

“Right..” Jeonghan looked down at the sandwich in his hands. Seokmin’s furious typing was the only thing that could be heard afterwards.

  
  


Jeonghan left as soon as his lunch break was over. He bid friend and Dr. Hong goodbye and slung his messenger bag across his chest, carefully pushing his hair behind his ear and walking off.

 

As he walked through the hallways, he reminisced the times where he had to shove through socializing underclassmen to prepare for his classes. He couldn’t recall a time where he had been able to stand in a hallway so leisurely and gossip about frat parties and the latest episode of “Breaking Bad”. It had been back-to-back, jam-packed schedules for four long years. It was depressing, but now he was in a place where he was comfortable with silence. He had Seokmin and Dr. Hong to an extent. He called his parents every other day and was constantly chatting with his younger sister over Kakaotalk. Family, a close friend, and himself were all he needed.

 

On the way to his car, he noticed a figure similar to Dr. Choi’s against the door of an expensive-looking car. Upon closer inspection, it was the mentor himself but busy on the phone.

 

_Hadn’t Dr. Hong mentioned that he would take three hours?_

 

Jeonghan didn’t want to eavesdrop, but it seemed like the man was frustrated. He had a hand combing through his fringe and face scrunched into a frustrated glare.

 

“I can’t make any of those dates! I told you last month that I would be back in Korea for a couple months. My return ticket is already booked for next month.”

 

He’s leaving again? Jeonghan thought dejectedly. Of course the man was going to leave. He was a world-famous researcher. There was no reason for him staying here for anything other than work. Somehow, he felt disappointed. He had grown to have some interest in the other man. The air of frustration that the professor had made Jeonghan itch with questions.

 

In the middle of his inner monologue, he heard the man say a little more quietly.

 

“I’m sorry. In any case, just wait please. We’ll settle the divorce as soon as I land in Los Angeles.”

 

Divorce? So he was married! That explained the ring that Jeonghan had seen on the man’s hand. Another wave of realization washed over Jeonghan, and he decided it was enough eavesdropping before the man would see him.

 

He hastily unlocked his car and opened the passenger seat to drop his bag and shut it, walking over to the driver’s side. Just then, he heard his name in the distance.

 

“Jeonghan! I thought it was you. I saw your hair and immediately recognized you!” a cheery Dr. Choi walked over with a huge grin on his face, a stark contrast from his knitted expression earlier. Jeonghan managed a small smile and instantly felt guilt creeping up his throat from the eavesdropping. He wondered if the man had seen him.

 

“It’s good to see you too, Dr. Choi. Did you know that Dr. Hong was looking for you?”

 

“Yeah yeah, Jisoo told me he locked himself out. I swear he’d be in trouble if I wasn’t here…” he drifted off. “Are you going home now?”

 

Jeonghan nodded, trying not to let the fluttering feeling in his gut crawl up to his face.

 

Seungcheol leaned on the side of Jeonghan’s car, the way the man’s shirt crunched over his abdomen torturing the other mentally. He was hoping the researcher would bid him goodbye and leave, but that didn’t happen.

 

He suddenly clapped his hands as if he remembered something. “I totally forgot to tell you! There’s a psychology conference happening in Daegu this weekend and you’d be eligible to attend. Seeing how well you teach the students, I think you would be able to enjoy it. My mentor is hosting it this year and he said I should bring people from the university. Did you want to come?”

 

“Oh..” Jeonghan paused. “I would love to, but I won’t have a car this weekend…”

 

Seungcheol just chuckled and patted Jeonghan’s shoulder comfortingly. “It’s no big deal. Jisoo and I are planning to drive so you can just come with us. It’s a two-day conference and about a four hour drive from here.”

 

Suddenly, he felt his hands become a little more clammy and warm. Driving with Dr. Hong and Dr. Choi would mean that he would basically be hanging around with his mentors outside of class. Informally. And something about that made him nervous. It wasn’t that they were bad company, but more about how they would all be traveling like friends.

 

“I-I...I’ll let you know, professor.” he retorted, mentally smacking himself for stuttering like an idiot. Why was he so nervous anyway? Dr. Choi was just his mentor who so generously allowed him to take over as a teacher’s assistant. They were not equals, and more importantly, the man was married. What if he had children? Did he?

 

The monologue was starting to give the man a headache. The two said their goodbyes and the Jeonghan sat back in his car, gripping the steering wheel sighed. On one hand, the conference would be a great place to further his knowledge of psychology and perhaps meet future employers and influential researchers and therapists in the field. On the other hand, however, was the issue of spending more time than necessary with Dr. Choi. Jeonghan wasn’t sure about his feelings for the man and his friend, who had both taken care of him.

  
  
  
  


Seokmin came back home two hours after Jeonghan and sprawled himself out on the couch, his legs resting in Jeonghan’s lap.

 

“Hey Seokmin?” he shifted up a little to face his friend.

 

The man looked up from his phone. “Yeah what’s up?”

 

“So I..” he paused. “I, um, got an invitation to this psych convention.”

 

“By…?”

 

Another long pause. “Dr. Choi.” Jeonghan breathed out quietly.

 

Seokmin just stared back. “Wait, you mean that hot researcher whose class you’re teaching?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“The one that looks like someone out 'The Bachelor'?”

 

“Yes Seokmin, and he’s 32.”

 

Seokmin smacked Jeonghan’s thigh. “Are you kidding me?! How is this even a question? You have to go!”

 

The long-haired man debated whether he should tell his friend that he’d be traveling with him as well. He decided to just spill it. “Well he’s taking me...and it’s in Daegu so it’s four hours long. Plus Dr. Hong is coming with us. I’m just nervous.”

 

His friend’s expression shifted from appalled to a sly smirk. “Why so nervous?” he scooted closer to Jeonghan. “You like him or something?”

 

Jeonghan deadpanned. “Are you stupid? He’s like 8 years older than us and I’m teaching his class.”

 

“So then why are you nervous?”

 

“I don’t know…” he trailed off. “I guess I feel kinda awkward because I’m the youngest and those two are friends. I feel like a third wheel.”

 

Seokmin just nodded and rubbed his shoulder. “Well Dr. Choi invited you, which means he’s okay with you being in his car with him. Just go, Jeonghan. You’re going to miss out on so many opportunities if you don’t go.”

 

_Damn Lee Seokmin for being right._

  


After a small dinner, Seokmin went to go sleep early and Jeonghan sat at the table with his phone in his hand, ready to text Dr. Choi about the conference. He finally gave in.

 

**[To: Dr. Choi]**

 

Hello Professor! I wanted to let you know that I would like to come to the conference this weekend.

  


He put his phone down and looked around as if he were avoiding looking at his phone at all costs. Instead of wasting time, he got up to go do the dishes. On the third dish, his phone buzzed and he ripped his gloves off to go and see what it was.

 

**[From: Dr. Choi]**

 

Awesome! I’ll email you the details about the conference and stuff when I get back home.☺

 

**[To: Dr. Choi]**

 

Thank you!

  


 

He put the phone down on the table again, a small skip in his step as he got ready to sleep. True to his word, Jeonghan woke up next morning to an email from the mentor with an extensive itinerary and the time at which he would be coming by Jeonghan’s house. It was exciting and he could hardly wait to embark on the trip. He tried to imagine how the car ride would be like, with Dr. Choi driving the whole time and Dr. Hong getting deep into a conversation about some latest breakthrough the world of psychology.

  
  


The rest of the week went by like a blur, and Jeonghan forgot about the news he had heard through eavesdropping. Friday came quickly and the male was already sitting near his door with his luggage packed and backpack sitting firmly on his shoulders. Seokmin had woken up with him and had cooked him a small breakfast of toast and eggs (the eggs being slightly watery), which touched him. His friend seemed to be equally excited about being able to stay in Jeonghan’s house while he was gone (to "take care of the house", according to his playful friend). Jeonghan had written his number down as well as Dr. Choi’s and Dr. Hong’s numbers on a note on the fridge for Seokmin just in case he accidentally burned down the kitchen. Every ten minutes, he would check his phone for the time and perhaps a text message from his carpool.

 

At 8:20 A.M, his phone buzzed excitedly. Jeonghan bid his friend a goodbye while the man dramatically wiped away an imaginary tear. Dr. Hong graciously stepped out of the car with Dr. Choi to help Jeonghan load his bags in the back of the sporty car.

 

Dr. Choi was still dressed to the nine’s, which was no surprise. But Jeonghan was flustered to see Dr. Hong in casual clothes. He was wearing a simple baby pink T-shirt and distressed blue jeans which made him look no older that Jeonghan. The sight was a little funny, but Jeonghan held back his chuckle and got into the backseat. They drove off the minute he got in, and it was just light conversations about the weather for the first twenty minutes.

 

Suddenly, the conversation became hushed. A cellphone went off and Dr. Choi reached into his pocket to pull it out. With a quick swipe, he silenced the phone.

 

“You’re not going to take it?” Dr. Hong asked incredulously.

 

Jeonghan looked into the rear view mirror to see Dr. Choi with a frown on his face. “I’m not picking up. She can wait.” he grumbled.

 

The atmosphere was tense. Both men were silent and Jeonghan put in his earbuds to perhaps let them know that he wasn’t eavesdropping. But the curiosity was killing him internally. _Was it his wife? Or ex-wife? Whatever they are right now?_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Without knowing, Jeonghan had drifted off. He only realized this when the car stopped and he felt a gust of cold wind hit his face. He got up from his sleeping position in the backseat of the car, trying to figure out where they were.

 

“We’re at a rest stop. Did you want to use the restroom, Jeonghan?” Dr. Hong smiled and chuckled at the sight of the long-haired male’s mussed hair.

 

Using his phone screen, he fixed his ponytail quickly and jumped out of the car. The three of them walked over into the rest stop, with Mr. Hong telling them that he was going to use the restroom. Dr. Choi found a table near a oxtail soup place and put his small backpack down, pulling his phone out.

 

Not knowing what to say, Jeonghan sat down across from the professor and stared at his phone screen. They still had a good hour before arriving at Daegu. He had a couple texts from his family’s group chat, but realized that they were just dumb jokes his sister had forwarded. Not knowing what else to do besides staring at his notification-less phone, he glanced over at Dr. Choi typing away furiously on his phone. He was probably texting his wife (ex-wife?) since he had rejected her call earlier.

 

“Sorry Jeonghan, I don’t mean to be so rude. I just didn’t expect people to be needing me so much in just the last two hours.”

 

He shook his head. “No no, it’s okay. It’s good to respond to your wife.”

 

Immediate regret.

 

“I-I mean um, family..” Jeonghan realized what he had just said. “It’s just that I-”

 

Dr. Choi was looking straight into his eyes. “Hey...it’s okay. I’m not offended. I’m just...um…” he paused. More quietly, he finished his sentence. “-getting divorced, so..” he coughed awkwardly.

 

_I knew it!_

 

“I-It must be hard”, he stammered. What else was he supposed to say in a situation like this? No _wonder_ he wasn’t cut out for therapy.

 

He received a quiet, almost embarrassed nod from the elder, who rested his chin on his hand and haphazardly looked around. “It’s funny how I’m doing research about love and relationships, and yet I’m failing at it in my own life.” he chuckled forlornly. “I’m not a good guy to fall in love with.”

  
  


And Jeonghan felt his belly flop at that statement. 

  
  
  


 

 

 

Just then, Dr. Hong walked back and took a seat beside Dr. Choi. “Are any of you hungry? ‘Cause I saw a store selling oxtail soup and I’m down to share!” he smiled, completely missing the bit of tension. Jeonghan nodded weakly and left Dr. Choi at the table to buy food.

 

Dr. Hong said nothing, but he had a smile on his face as usual. Jeonghan felt his heart beating a little faster and his face heating up. He finally spoke. “Dr. Hong, can I ask you something? I know it’s none of my business but I-”

 

“Seungcheol’s pending divorce, right?” he looked down and started to walk a little slower. “He got married at your age. She was a foreign student in our class and they pretty much got together within three months of knowing each other.”

 

There was a pregnant pause.

 

“They had a miscarriage within four months of being married, and I saw him change almost overnight. He fell into a depressive state for two months and drowned himself in work, effectively and unconsciously avoiding her. I had to force him to talk to her since she was already distraught and shaken from the loss.” he sighed wistfully, the smile fading into a tight line.

 

Jeonghan felt as if he was hearing a tragedy that only dramas portrayed. A part of him was feeling conflicted, seeing as to how he barely knew the researcher. Would he be able to look Dr. Choi in the eye again?

 

Dr. Hong ordered the two soups for the three of them to share before continuing on with his story.

 

“The bottom line is, Seungcheol and his wife barely communicated after that. It’s a miracle that they even held out this long, but I’m kind if glad that they’re splitting.”

 

“But...did they try couples therapy? Communication problems are easy to solve.” Jeonghan inquired. It was odd that as a researcher, the man had not sought out the help of a therapist.

 

“Well she’s in the States, and he sees her once in two months for about a week at most. Honestly,  the bigger issue is that they’ve both lost interest.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The lunch was healing. Jeonghan could feel his body being rejuvenated by the herbs and wonderful oxtail. It was a little hard to digest the tragic backstory if his seemingly well put-together mentor. He couldn’t imagine a marriage as horrible as the one between the workaholic and his mysterious spouse. Dr. Choi seemed like a perfectly capable and well-educated person to date.

 

“So as I was saying, I’m still in great need of help in my lab. I think Hanyang needs to work on their statistics education because I swear I haven’t found a single qualified person yet.”

 

Suddenly, Jeonghan snapped out of his daze. “I have a friend!” he butt in. “He’s a master’s student in need of experience and he was a statistics minor during undergraduate. His name is Lee Seokmin.”

 

Dr. Hong clapped his hands. “Is that the friend who we sat with in the cafeteria? He seems very capable and friendly.”

 

_Lee Seokmin, you better be taking good care of my apartment!_

 

Dr. Choi simply ran his hands through his locks. “If he submits a resume to me by next Wednesday, I can take a look at it.”

  
  
  


**[To: Donkey Kong]**

 

yo seokmin, i got you an internship with dr.choi~♡

 

**[From: Donkey Kong]**

 

??? how much $$$ per hour? $_$

 

**[To: Donkey Kong]**

 

never mind, i’ll tell dr. choi that you don't want it.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_**[Incoming Phone Call: Donkey Kong]** _

  


“I’m just joking, Yoon Jeonghan! Can't you loosen up a little?!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

After checking into the hotel, Jeonghan realized how awkward this mini-trip was going to be. The three of them were put into a hotel room together, and there were only two beds. Of course, Dr. Hong had been extremely gracious and offered to share a bed with Dr. Choi, but also for “old time’s sake”. They had some time to look around the area surrounding the hotel before a welcoming dinner. Jeonghan had watched Dr. Choi fixing his wine red tie, its contrast with the crisp black dress shirt exuding a sensuality that Jeonghan was unsure would fit the banquet theme. Their hotel room was cozy and overlooked the rather pretty city sights of Daegu. 

 

“I never thought I’d be staying in a hotel in my home city.” Dr. Choi chuckled, surprising Jeonghan as he stepped beside him near their window. 

 

It all made sense now. The minute the three of them had entered the city borders, the elder seemed to know his way around despite Google Maps screaming “rerouting” at them. Jeonghan nodded and smiled. He felt a curiosity bubbling within him, wanting to know what about this city made Dr. Choi the person he is today. It wasn’t like he knew who the famous researcher was personally, but he knew that he was someone he was someone who was more complex than what met the eye. 

 

Nervousness also began to bloom in Jeonghan’s heart, his eyes darting away from Dr. Choi’s big ones, the distance he kept every time the man would stand a little too close to him. It was hard for him to describe the feeling of wanting to be close, but also wanting a sea to keep the distance between them. 

 

To add to the internal troubles brewing, his feelings for Dr. Hong remained unresolved. He still couldn’t decide how he felt about the kind mentor who was in the bathroom getting ready. From applying to graduate school to offering him the position as professor’s assistant, he had no idea why he felt so light and comfortable around someone he was supposed to revere. 

 

The dimming sunlight and city lights kept Jeonghan in a sort of daze that was only broken when Dr. Hong walked out of the bathroom. He emerged in a cream colored dress shirt tucked into slim-fitting black slacks.

 

He looked at himself in the vanity mirror to fix his light-brown bangs. “Do I look okay?” he turned to Jeonghan.

 

Jeonghan, caught off guard, stuttered. “Y-you look good, Dr. Hong.” He tried to smile and suppress the creeping blush on his face. Dr. Hong was too handsome to be a psychologist. With his looks, he could have easily been a model.

 

The younger looked at his own attire, suddenly feeling self-conscious. He felt like he was attending a high school homecoming dance with his white button-down and black slacks. Dr. Choi had been watching all of this.

 

“Jisoo, you need to wear a tie. This isn’t a blind date.” he muttered, half-jokingly and half-seriously. He stood up from the chair he was sitting on and opened his suitcase. Jeonghan giggled at the comment, which made some sense considering that this was a formal event for professionals. 

 

“How many ties do you even own, Seungcheol?” Dr. Hong smirked.

 

With an annoyed sigh, the raven-haired man muttered under his breath for him to shut up.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The dinner was anticlimactic, in Jeonghan’s opinion. There had been a short speech by the president and short introductions from each of the attendees. Jeonghan was feeling the pressure already, since they were all award-winning researchers and practitioners who had made significant contributions to the field. His introduction was met with enthusiastic clapping from Dr. Hong and Dr. Choi, who smiled and nodded proudly. 

 

During dinner, Jeonghan had noticed that Dr. Choi was a quieter figure at the table. He was smiling and listening but only seemed to speak when spoken to. It may have been due to the attendees being significantly older, but this made Jeonghan more curious about his personality. 

 

Dr. Hong, on the other hand, was wildly popular with the female attendees, who flocked around him after dinner to chat with him about their researches and his position as the head of his department. This was all to be expected of course, but Jeonghan found himself alone after a while with no peers to chat with about his seemingly boring life of teaching and studying. The short-haired boy excused himself from the table to use the restroom and walked while trying to synthesize everything that had been said at the dinner table. Lost in his own thoughts, he kept walked until his felt himself bump into someone. 

 

_ Of course it’s him.  _

 

Dr. Choi looked at him and smiled, stepping back and putting both his hands on Jeonghan’s. “Make sure you watch where you’re walking! I don’t want you getting hurt here.” he chuckled and Jeonghan visibly tensed under the man’s warm grip. 

 

“Oh my god I’m sorry! I was just trying to find the restroom and I jus-”

 

The man was still looking straight into Jeonghan’s own eyes. He dropped his hands when he realized what he was doing and just stuffed them into the pockets of his dress pants. “Oh it’s around the corner. Make sure you don’t bump into any more people on the way back!” he exclaimed with one more blinding smile and walked off before Jeonghan could even react.

 

Warmth. That was the only feeling Jeonghan could describe that he felt after that small incident. Dr. Choi’s smile reminded him of warm sunlight that gently shined on during a picnic. This began to churn Jeonghan’s insides even more, overcoming trumping his need to pee. He walked off to the restroom with a lighter step in his foot and more awareness than before. When he arrived back to their spot, he noticed that Dr. Choi was no longer at the table, and neither was Dr. Hong. Instead, he saw a couple of the female psychologists in the room chatting fairly excitedly and hushed about something. They looked up to see him at the door.

 

“Oh, uh, I’m sorry to interrupt but do you know where Dr. Choi and Dr. Hong might be?”

 

The two ladies looked at each other and smiled at each other. “Dr. Hong went off with some other seniors to the karaoke rooms. I think Dr. Choi told us he was going to head up to the room early. It’s too bad he couldn’t join the rest of us.” they both giggled. “Would you like to come with us? We were just going to the karaoke rooms too!”

 

He assessed his state of being and decided that he would regret the lack of sleep the next morning. The morning programs had piqued his interests so he politely declined (much to the disappointment of the women) and took the elevator back up to the room. Halfway through the floors, he realized that he would be alone in the room.

 

_ Alone with Dr. Choi. _

 

He instantly felt like his skin was burning. What was he going to even talk about with the man? Would he be asleep already? He still wasn’t fully comfortable being alone in the presence of the researcher. He especially hated that weird gut feeling he got every time the researcher smiled at him or gave him any sort of pointed attention. Once he slid his card into the door’s slot, he twisted the knob and walked in quietly in case the elder was sleeping.

 

What he didn’t expect was to see Dr. Choi with just a black tank top and shorts on, hair damp from a shower and a pale pink towel loosely hanging around his neck. The elder looked surprised to see Jeonghan at the door, who was still standing still with his eyes blown wide open.

 

“I-I uh… I’m sorry for walking in unexpectedly.” Jeonghan stuttered, feeling the flush in his face becoming worse and worse. Just a glimpse of the professor’s upper body had imprinted into the back of his eyeballs, perhaps to never be erased again. He couldn’t even look the man in the face, instead averting his gaze to the floor. 

 

Dr. Choi hastily looked around for a shirt, getting off the bed and throwing his towel on the nightstand. He didn’t look at Jeonghan, but apologized. “No no! I’m sorry! I didn’t know you would be coming up here so fast and-” he trailed off and threw a shirt over his head quickly. “I didn’t expect you to come up here this early.” Now he was rambling. “Why didn’t you go karaoke with Jisoo?” 

 

Jeonghan avoided eye contact and walked over to his bed and took off his pass from around his neck. His fingers were starting to tremble at the overwhelming feeling of awkwardness. “I-I felt a little awkward about going when I’m the youngest…” As bad as it sounded, Jeonghan meant it. He wasn’t keen on trying to sing to old trot songs with a bunch of middle-aged professionals (minus Dr. Hong). 

 

Dr. Choi had thrown a shirt on by the time Jeonghan decided to look his way again. However, the nervous tingle in his stomach hadn’t quelled and he unintentionally put his hand over his stomach. Why was it so hard for him to feel comfortable around the researcher? Every moment with the man felt like his knees were going to buckle. This feeling was a step up from his moments with Dr. Hong, who made his whole body relaxed and light as a feather. The situation was becoming more complicated for himself  _ because _ of him. It was troubling to know that he couldn’t see his mentors without feeling as if he wanted something more. 

 

“Jisoo loves to go to karaoke rooms but I haven’t been able to go with him because of our busy schedules. I…” the elder began to explain. “I guess I haven’t been around for him much in the last year or so.” a wistful sigh left his lips as he stood up to go grab a beer from the mini-fridge. “Do you want one?”

 

Jeonghan was handed a beer and the two sat on their beds, popping the caps open and taking a sip. The conversation trailed off and the two quietly sipped on their beers, occasionally checking their phones.

 

“So...what are you doing your thesis on, Jeonghan?” Dr. Choi looked up and smiled at Jeonghan. 

 

Jeonghan looked down with guilt because he truthfully hadn’t made much progress with his thesis. The topic was interesting, but he hadn’t delved into research yet due to teaching. He didn’t want to blame the job. “It’s on the correlation between children who haven’t had successful detachment from parents and their chances of committing a crime.” 

 

A pause in the conversation occurred between them. “So you’re interested in kids?”

 

“Oh no, I like children but I honestly don’t think I could work with them for a career. I’m interested in becoming a criminal psychologist. I want to work with criminals.” he gulped and took another swig of his beer. Was this becoming too morbid?

 

“That’s true!” Dr. Choi huffed. “I don’t mind having kids of my own but working with kids is difficult if they’re not your own.” 

 

Jeonghan carefully decided to ask. “Do you want children of your own, Dr. Choi?”

 

The professor looked down at his beer in his hands. There was a long pause. “I used to want them.” he sighed. “I...well never mind. It’s a long story but I decided that I’m much happier spending time with my friends’ kids instead of having my own.” 

 

The beer took Jeonghan’s mind off the awkward and uncomfortable emotions he was feeling. He knew he had more to say on the matter, but rather than pressing on, he held back and asked just one major one. “Will you be going back to the U.S soon?” 

 

“I suppose. I have some unfinished business to take care of…”

 

Jeonghan felt his gut flop with disappointment. He took another sip when the professor spoke again.

 

“But  I’ll be moving back to Seoul permanently again afterwards though. I was mostly in the States because of research and my wife, but since that’s over, I’ll be moving back permanently. Besides, I always felt like an outsider there.” he looked at Jeonghan and chuckled.

 

Maybe it was the beer talking, or the unresolved emotions Jeonghan refused to settle internally, but Dr. Choi looked...better without his formal clothes. Of course, it seemed like suits were made for him, but Jeonghan felt like the man looked more approachable like this, with shorts and a t-shirt.  

 

“Y-you don’t have to worry about me. I’m very thankful for the opportunity to work for you. It could have been so much worse.” he managed to chuckle and quickly looked down at the beer bottle in his lap. He hadn’t finished more than a quarter of it, not having the heart to tell the elder that he wasn’t a fan of beer. 

 

Dr. Choi looked over his shoulder at the door of their room, perhaps to listen for Dr. Hong’s footsteps. It was already around 11 P.M and Jeonghan was starting to feel sleepy. He still hadn’t changed out of his clothes, so he excused himself and made a beeline to the bathroom to change. 

  
  
  
  


The next morning started off early, with three different alarms going off. Jeonghan and Dr. Choi had gone to bed long before Dr. Hong, leading to the three of them setting separate alarms. They made their routine’s as effective as possible, taking short showers and getting dressed quickly to head down for breakfast. Their morning was fairly quiet, and Jeonghan barely felt awake despite washing his face and getting dressed.

 

Dr. Choi didn’t seem to be a morning person either. Jeonghan had woken up to the sight of Dr. Choi with an unstyled, messy mop of hair on his head, with strands sticking out in every direction and bags under his eyes. Dr. Hong, on the other hand, was literally shining. Despite getting the least amount of sleep between the three of them, his face was glowing and his hair was combed into perfection even before Jeonghan was in his clothes for the day. The man was an enigma, truly.

 

After they regrouped with the rest of the conference-goers for breakfast, Jeonghan found himself at the table once again, but this time he was included in many of the conversations. Topics regarding his thesis, advice, and bad psychology jokes thrown around endlessly were what Jeonghan was dealing with as he quietly finished his pancakes.

 

“So Seungcheol, what score would you give Jeonghan in terms of teaching your class?” Dr. Kim jokingly smacked him in the shoulder. 

 

Dr. Choi cleared his throat and put his fork down. Jeonghan looked up to see the man give him an indecipherable look before answering. “Well it’s been a week since he started teaching and I have yet to receive an angry email from somebody in the course. I’d say he’s doing an excellent job.” his lips curved upwards and he nodded in acknowledgment. 

 

Dr. Hong also chimed in. “You all better keep your eyes on him. He’s going to be doing great things when he graduates.”

 

“Yes but keep an eye on him after he graduates. I can’t have him leaving my side for your guys’ labs!” 

 

Jeonghan wasn’t sure what to do or say but the flush on his face was only becoming more intense, so he stuffed his mouth with the remaining bit of pancakes and tuned out for the rest of the conversation. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The lecture on Autism was first. Jeonghan was thoroughly interested in the topic, taking detailed notes of the lecture and nodding along, as if it was a one-on-one conversation between him and the researcher. The lectures were being done by key figures in the field and Jeonghan could hardly wait to go to each lecture. Of course, he sat with Dr. Hong and Dr. Choi, who would give him a small biography or funny anecdote regarding each of the speakers. It was also between these lectures that he received their numbers. 

 

“Let’s just create a group chat. We can move as a unit between today and tomorrow. Is that okay?” Dr. Hong suggested as he went into his phone to create it. “Jeonghan, feel free to explore around okay? I’m actually planning to head back to the hotel a little early because I need to nap. That last lecture had me yawning until my mouth hurt.” 

Dr. Choi nudged his shoulder. “Shut up! Dr. Lee is  _ right there _ .” he hissed. 

 

The younger had to stifle a giggle. Dr. Lee Jihoon was a small, aged man who spoke with a stern tone. His lecture on the complexities of paranoid schizophrenia was truly compelling, but the way he spoke and the verbage he used was truly soporific. Dr. Choi had been engrossed in the lecture while doing his best to not yawn noticeably.

 

“Let’s go see the next lecture together, Jeonghan. I don’t want you to miss out on stuff like this just because this old man needs his midday  _ nap _ .” he said sarcastically. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! it's been almost a year (oops) since the last update and i'm truly sorry for just leaving you all hanging from the last update. i'm going to try to revive this plot as much as i can. i know the end of this chapter is a little...abrupt but i'm going to do my best to figure out the rest of this. in the meantime, enjoy and please comment! i love reading comments. :')


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